The Animated Ones

Unfortunately, I was proven right by the Oscars last Sunday. As I mentioned in the post below, when making one’s picks, it’s better to have not seen the movies. The one live-action short that I didn’t like won the little gold man last Sunday, and I wanted to throw my cupcake at the TV.

In the other “small-potatoes” categories, Best Animated Short and Best Documentary Short (categories in which I hadn’t seen any of the nominees), my picks of “Smile Pinki” and “La Maison de petits cubes” both won. I’d picked them because I liked their names, mostly. The whole phenomenon makes me want to shove a spoon in my eye.

But I’m glad I didn’t, because then I never would have gotten to see the animated shorts. It was the best $12 I’ve spent since I upgraded to boxer briefs.

Not only was I impressed by the quality and diversity of the art involved in making these films, but also by how funny some of them were. France’s “Oktapodi,” for example, had me laughing for about three minutes straight, and “Oktapodi” was three minutes long.

Once, a few years ago, my friend Sharon “Turbo” Marquart told me a French joke whose punch line “No arms, no chocolate!” When I looked at her with a Pomeranian blankness, she explained that “it’s really funny in French.” I took her word for it. She has a great sense of humor. Watching these animated shorts, though, there was no need to take anyone’s “word for it” about how funny they were: None of the five nominees had even one line of dialogue.

The obvious upside, then, is that they translate really well. I don’t have to speak Russian to appreciate “Lavatory – Lovestory” exactly as much as a Russian guy might. They’re truly global, and I love that.

I’ll rank these too, but they were all really damn good.

1. La Maison de petits cubes: This was the least funny, but the most interesting and imaginative. And old man lives in a land where the water level keeps rising slowly, as it has for many years, and he must build new floors on his home whenever it starts to flood. When he drops his pipe, he must rent some scuba gear and retrieve it, and we see him remembering his life, stage by stage, as he goes down through the levels.

2. Oktapodi: An extremely short, action-packed love story of two octopi, one of whom is nabbed from the tank by a spiteful truck driver. An incredible, slapstick chase scene ensues.

3. Presto: A Pixar joint about an egotistical magician in battle with his sly, carrot-starved rabbit. Bugs Bunny would be proud.

4. This Way Up: An extremely well made and wildly inappropriate story of two casket bearers having a really bad day after a boulder crushes their hearse. This may have been closer to the top of my list if it weren’t for a Dumboesque scene of macabre song & dance that didn’t seem to fit.

5. Lavatory – Lovestory: A lonely public lavatory attendant finds flowers in her coin jar, but has no idea who has given them to her. Its beauty lies in its simplicity. Like Justin Timberlake lyrics.